Monthly Archives: January 2003

Humour — No Comments
17
Jan 03

Directions for Rehearsal

Stop me if you’ve heard this one:

Conductor to orchestra at the start of rehearsal:

“Please get out your pencils. We have some marking to do. The first two bars are in 3/4, not 4/4 as written. Next, in the 5th bar, change it to 7/8 and this remains to the end. In bar 7 we lower the pitch half a step. In bar 13 lower the pitch one whole step and this will remain to the end. In bar 26 where it says strict tempo, cross that out and write in molto rubato. In bar 32 cross out the grand pause. And in bar 44, take out the legato and write in staccato.

Thank you. Let’s begin.”

Soprano soloist: “Excuse me, Maestro. What would you like me to change?”

Conductor: “Nothing at all, Madam. Sing it exactly as you did yesterday.”

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07
Jan 03

Tuck in That Shirt, Suck in That Gut

Congratulations Gillian and Robert!!!

New Year’s Eve found me sitting in front of the television watching the great Dazed and Confused on Bravo. I hadn’t seen that flick in about eight years – back when my pal Dave and I watched the scene at the drive-in restaurant about twenty times in a row, memorizing Wooderson’s lines and trying not to laugh ourselves sick.

Okay, now we all know that keeping a New Year’s resolution is next to impossible for longer than a couple o’ weeks at the most. However, I’ve come up with one that I’ve already started and will probably have little or no trouble keeping with since it’s absolutley not a big deal, but something I never usually do. I’ve started to actually (don’t laugh now) tuck in my shirt for work. A co-worker a few weeks back jokingly asked me if I actually had a waistline. Since the tuckin’ in began, I realize that my gut doesn’t appear to be as big as I thought it would be. Now if I could keep to the idea of doing sit-ups again…..